On Confrontation: Part I

Today, I have to do something that I really am not equipped to do (or, at least, I think I'm not).  I have had to dismiss an adult volunteer who has a great big heart but not much giftedness for leading or facilitating middle school Sunday School.  And, today I am having a follow-up meeting with him which will include the senior pastor, my supervising pastor, and a member of my advisory committee.  It is quite a long story filled with multiple reasons for dismissing this person; but no matter the number of reasons, I am still uncomfortable with meeting with a person so angry with me.

I have agonized over this situation for the past couple of months; and over the past few days, it has consumed my thoughts.  I am nervous about saying things that another person does not want to hear.  I am nervous that I have made mistakes in my way of going about this, and I cannot stop wondering what I could have done differently.

Multiple factors play into my discomfort.  (1) Not many people really like to upset others.  (2) I am having to tell a man who could be my father that I do not see that he is gifted for teaching in a lecture/discussion style setting (so for me, it is a respect your elders kind of issue).  (3) I like being liked.  (4) With the amount of stink already being stirred up, others in the church could become angry (even though the decision has the backing of teachers who have taught with him, the advisory committee, and the other ministers in the church).

Ultimately, my job is to do what is best for this ministry, for the students, and for the leaders who have exceptional gifts for teaching middle schoolers and who have put in so much time and effort.  It is a part of my job to discern where volunteers can best be utilized for the good of the church's ministry with middle school students, and in this case I see that this volunteer is better suited for other aspects of the ministry.

I know all of these things, but unfortunately the meeting will be no less difficult.

In Part II, expect some theological reflection.  Hopefully.