On the Mystery of Christ

One of my favorite Christmas carols is “In the Bleak Midwinter.”  It was written by 19^th century English poet, Christina Rossetti.  Living in 19^th century England as a single women, Rossetti knew something about bleakness.  Her haunting poem speaks to the stillness into which Christ was born - “a stable place sufficed The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.”  I love the juxtaposition of the grandeur of God not being able to be contained in all of heaven and earth with the tangible mortality of the mean estate of humanity. 

Over the course of Christian history, we have struggled to put Christ’s two natures into words that come close to describing the divine mystery of the Incarnation.  We have argued, declared one another as heretics, and held Church council after Church council to settle this debate.  Yet, I cannot help but be reminded of the Apostle Paul’s words: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). 

The mystery of God is hard to translate into the human vernacular.  And, our best attempts are often communicated in juxtaposed lines of poetry like this one penned so long ago. 

In hearing and singing this song, I am reminded that the miracle of Christmas goes beyond Christmas trees and decorations, beyond carols and hymns, beyond our attempts at understanding mystery and miracle; and it points to the Divine Love and Mystery of God who in all glory condescended to us in the act of the Incarnation.  What a God we serve!  What a Love that covers us!  What a Promise of Hope we have in the Person and Work of Christ!  

On Celebrating the Incarnation

This year it has become increasingly apparent to me that Christians in America celebrate two totally unrelated holidays on December 25 - if they even celebrate the birth of Christ at all.  I have always had a bit of discomfort in the celebrating of Western commercialized Christmas, but the tug of nostalgia has always kept me celebrating however minimally it may have seemed to the rest of our culture.  But, this year as I have seen my son learning about Christmas, I have seen that he makes no connection whatsoever between the Santa Claus holiday that he sees in movies and in the decorations and the Joseph, Mary, and Jesus that he loves so much to identify in nativity scenes.  He does not see the connection because he is, as of yet, unable to justify consumeristic greed and materialism.

I should say that I love to give Christmas presents.  I love cooking and baking all of the Christmas goodies that I grew up eating.  I love decorating my Christmas tree.  And, I love Christmas music.  I long to recreate the magical feeling I had at Christmas time in my childhood for my own son.  But, at what cost?  Do I sacrifice convictions for confections?  Principles for presents?  Right doctrine for decorations?

Last night I even told my husband that I would almost rather celebrate Christmas on two different days.  One for the Incarnation and one for nostalgia and cookies. There is a lot to think about when you have children that no one tells you about when you are pregnant!  Do I make my child a social pariah by not celebrating Christmas the way that the rest of "Christian America" does?  Will he be the kid who ruins Santa for all of the other kids in his class?  Will other kids (and even church members) pity him because of his scrooge parents?

I have no answers for these questions.  In full discretion: we have already bought his Christmas present.  We have a Christmas tree up in our living room.  We have a wreath on the door.  And, I have made trays full of fudge.  Our son watches Christmas movies non-stop and he sat on Santa's lap at my husband's church's Breakfast with Santa function.  And, I love to see his little eyes light up.  I know things seem magical and exciting to him.

I'm not worried about lying to him or giving him a false view of reality.  I am worried about willingly placing him in the midst of greed and consumerism.  I'm worried about feeding him a both/and type of Christmas that never really celebrates the Incarnation - that never really celebrates anything other than presents.  I am worried about not fulfilling my calling to accurately and faithfully portray the gospel to my son.

I am sure that many will say that I am over-thinking this.  But, no amount of thought is too great when it comes to faithfully following Christ.

I invite your thoughts and comments.  Let's discuss this as a community of believers seeking to love God with our hearts, souls, minds, and strength.

On Youth Workers and Their Conventions

I recently returned from Atlanta, Georgia where I was able to experience my second National Youth Workers' Convention put on by Youth Specialties, an organization founded by Mike Yaconelli and Wayne Rice some 40 years ago.

The organization began out of a deep love for students within and without the Church and a very real felt need for ministry specifically geared to them.  Over the past 40 years, the people of Youth Specialties have worked to be innovative, in tune with youth culture, and Christ-centered.  They have sought to be a resource to youth ministers who, in some cases, are alone in forging a path into youth culture carrying the light of Christ in a real and relevant way.

This year, we had the opportunity to celebrate a man who has held youth, Youth Specialties, and especially the National Youth Workers' Convention very dear to his heart and mission, Tic Long.  Tic has stood by this organization through thick and thin for almost 40 years, and he is a true servant of youth and youth workers across the western hemisphere.   According to YS, Tic "has been president of events for just about forever [, and] he probably loves NYWC more than anyone else on the planet!" 

We celebrated Tic not only for his devoted tenure, but because this will be his last NYWC as the president of events.  Tic has been called to local church ministry and has accepted that call.  We celebrate with Tic as he steps into this new chapter of his journey with God.

Tic, I along with thousands upon thousands of ministers and students, wish you peace in your new transition, wisdom for the ministry, and strength for the journey.

On Christianity and Contemporary Art

Over the course of Christian history, art has played an integral part in aiding believers in connecting with their faith and pursuing spiritual formation.  We have seen the beauty of God's gifts through the talented hands of artist throughout the centuries.  In a time when literacy was not the norm,  beautiful frescos depicting biblical scenes taught the stories of our faith.  Christians have expressed their love for God and their gratitude for the gifts God has given them by illustrating Bibles and illuminating their pages.  In Eastern Orthodox Churches, iconography is an important aspect of Christian worship and devotion. 

Unfortunately, over the years, evangelical Christianity has lost contact with art.  Besides the illustration of children's Bibles and the occasional "White Jesus" painting, art has been all but banished from the church.  

Within youth ministry, though, the emphasis of experiential ministry has re-introduced art as a way of connecting with God and as a valid way to worship.  Many emergent and even charismatic churches regularly have a painter in worship.  As an artist, myself, I find great joy in this recent development.

This year, 2011, is the 400th anniversary of the King James Version of the Bible; and to celebrate, world-renown artist, Makoto Fujimura, has been commissioned to illuminate the pages of a very special anniversary edition of the text.    

Makoto Fujimura - The Art of "The Four Holy Gospels" from Crossway on Vimeo.

I hope that in watching this video and in reading the pages of this very special Bible, more Christians can once again honor the gift of art in the Church.  

On Confrontation: Part II

The meeting yesterday came and went.  I left feeling exhausted and defeated.  And, after another series of events new light came to the situation, which in hindsight actually would have saved us from this entire situation.  But, it also provides the best possible solution to the matter.

So, today I am processing and looking back to learn from my mistakes.  I spent a good majority of my time this morning typing out a critical incident report for myself.  What this whole thing boils down to is indirect communication and assumptions.  If I had gone directly to one person and asked what needed to be done to make things work, then we could have taken active steps to make this a better situation for all who are involved. Our next step is to do exactly that.  The other teachers and the ministers involved will meet to develop a plan for training and better utilizing this particular volunteer.  We, then, will work very closely to make this a good experience for the teachers and the students.

I have learned a lot about myself in this process.  I have learned that I need to work on my confidence in addressing issues head on.  So often I get scared of hurting feelings.  Then I tip toe around the issue and hurt more feelings than I ever intended.  Communication needs to be clear, expectations need to be stated, and interpersonal issues need to be handled directly.

Apologies will be made.

Hopefully, now that I see where I have made these mistakes, I will learn from them and take the steps to improve upon my weaknesses.  Ultimately, my desire is to have everyone work together for the good of the students and their faith development.  And, now, I am seeing that working with the students is just as much a part of the adult volunteers' and my own faith development, too.

On Confrontation: Part I

Today, I have to do something that I really am not equipped to do (or, at least, I think I'm not).  I have had to dismiss an adult volunteer who has a great big heart but not much giftedness for leading or facilitating middle school Sunday School.  And, today I am having a follow-up meeting with him which will include the senior pastor, my supervising pastor, and a member of my advisory committee.  It is quite a long story filled with multiple reasons for dismissing this person; but no matter the number of reasons, I am still uncomfortable with meeting with a person so angry with me.

I have agonized over this situation for the past couple of months; and over the past few days, it has consumed my thoughts.  I am nervous about saying things that another person does not want to hear.  I am nervous that I have made mistakes in my way of going about this, and I cannot stop wondering what I could have done differently.

Multiple factors play into my discomfort.  (1) Not many people really like to upset others.  (2) I am having to tell a man who could be my father that I do not see that he is gifted for teaching in a lecture/discussion style setting (so for me, it is a respect your elders kind of issue).  (3) I like being liked.  (4) With the amount of stink already being stirred up, others in the church could become angry (even though the decision has the backing of teachers who have taught with him, the advisory committee, and the other ministers in the church).

Ultimately, my job is to do what is best for this ministry, for the students, and for the leaders who have exceptional gifts for teaching middle schoolers and who have put in so much time and effort.  It is a part of my job to discern where volunteers can best be utilized for the good of the church's ministry with middle school students, and in this case I see that this volunteer is better suited for other aspects of the ministry.

I know all of these things, but unfortunately the meeting will be no less difficult.

In Part II, expect some theological reflection.  Hopefully.

On Benedictions

I have always loved the benediction at the end of a worship service.  It is the great challenge and encouragement offered to the faithful as they are pushed out of the church doors and into the world to live the lives to which God has called them.  It is the final note - like dessert at the end of a four course meal.  Have you ever felt that?

This past week a fellow student asked if I would offer the benediction in the divinity school chapel service. I was happy to oblige (especially since a favorite pastor would be offering the sermon in the same service).

As I drove the hour-long drive down to school this morning, I thought over what I might want to say to send my fellow students out into the world.  I thought of the friend who needed hope to make it through the day.  I knew she might need me to speak directly to her this morning.  Then, I thought of the many friends who, like me, needed a reminder to love not only God but themselves in order that they might begin to love their neighbors and their enemies.  I thought of the times when we all struggle to find peace through our faith or courage in accepting our call.

As I drove thinking of specific faces and stories, the benediction for the day slowly came together.  And, as we sang the last verse of "Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah," I stepped up to the podium to address the very real needs of our family.  I turned to the choir and saw the face of my friend in need of hope; I turned to the right side of the chapel and saw the face of a friend who struggles to love herself; I turned to the left side and saw a friend who is still searching for peace in the midst of trouble; and, I surveyed the collective face of my divinity school family and saw the longing for a gentle reminder of God's call on each of our lives.

After the benediction found its way out of my soul and into the hearts and minds of my divinity family, I received my sending forth in the form of hugs, words of affirmation, and tears in the eyes of my very dear friend who needed to hear exactly what was spoken through me.

I am never more humbled than when God uses me despite of me - despite the frustrations I have with my ministry, my inability to do everything, and my own lack of confidence in my ability to lead and minister to others.

What is it that I do exactly?

I am a minister to middle school students.  They are funny and weird.  They cannot stop talking.  They laugh a lot.  They like to hang out and play dodge ball.  They are fond of loud, off-key sing-a-longs.  They love attention but not the bad kind.  They want to stand out but not stick out.  They want to belong to a group and to know who they are.

Recently, I have found myself lamenting over the lack of deep, meaningful relationships with my middle school students.  You know, the kind where they will share with me their struggles, where I can help them in solving their problems, and where I can steer them away from the mistakes I made.  Or, just the kind where they will listen to me for two straight seconds.  But, I have had to realize that middle school students are not so sure about adults.  They have just broken ties with mom and dad, and they are out seeking their own independence.  Why in the world would they look for another adult to boss them around?

Though they may not think to come to ministers and other adults in their church as their middle school survival guide, they do know that we are here.  They know that we are trying to find new and different ways to engage with them.  They know that we are concerned about them.  And, they know that we will listen.  And, every once in a while, they let us into their world.  Sometimes it is as simple as putting an arm around our shoulders or yelling an enthusiastic "hey" to us as they blaze past us.

They may not really understand how much we care for them until they are well past our particular niche in age group ministry.  But, they will.

The Introduction

Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kelly in "You've Got Mail" (1998).

"What is it that I do exactly?"  "You do this incredibly noble thing.  You, you are a lone reed.  A lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly..."

Meg Ryan's character, Kathleen Kelly, in the 1998 movie "You've Got Mail" seemed to be having some doubts about her life choices and her career when she asked this question; and if I ever get the response that she did, I would feel like either someone was lying to me or I was actually fulfilling my call.

So, what is it that I do exactly?  I work really hard to please God and to please people.  I try my best to follow God's lead in my life.  I love my students and the people of my church.  I try my best to express my love for God in a way that invites others into a relationship with God and with each other.  I want so bad for the people around me to feel safe and loved.

I am a mother.
I am a wife.
I am a minister.
I am a pilgrim.